INOCENCIA BINAYUBAY CHRONICLES
It’s been a while since I have not posted in my blog ah… luckily after a week of receiving funny text messages of Inday Chronicles in my mobile phone, I finally came up to something great to post in my blog. Yes! The next entry will be the chronicles of Inocencia Binayubay (aka Inday).
I collected all possible messages I can and posted here. Enjoy reading.
INDAY’S BIODATA:
Name: Inocencia Binayubay
Nickname: Inday
Age: 18
Parents: Aling Seling & Mang Andoy
Siblings: Iying, 13; Itoy, 8; Iking, 5
Education: College—
High School—Philippine
Elementary—
Work Experience: 3 years, Household Service Manager (Katulong)—Mr. & Mrs. Montemayor
INDAY CHRONICLES:
1) I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
-- sagot ni Inday sa interview ng bago niyang amo!
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2) Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
-- sagot ni Inday nang tanungin ng amo kung bakit may bukol si Junior.
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3) The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
- nag-explain si Inday kung bakit maalat ang ulam.
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4) Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
5) "It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!"
- Inday, kasama si Junior sa principal's office.
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6) Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: (nosebleed)
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7) Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
- si Inday, pinagbabawalan ang mga bata na maglikot.
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8) Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.
- sagot ni Inday kung bakit umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
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9) "To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request. Petition denied."
- reply ni Inday nang i-text ni dodong kung pwede sya maging txtmate.
(law grad ba si Inday?)
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10) Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession..
- c inday, tumatangging nakikipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay.
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11) "The nerve impulses from the stomach of the human body were received by the brain. The brain interpreted that the digestive system of the corresponding human is lacking substances to be burnt down by its hydrochloric acid therefore sending neurons to the eyes making it emit tears.
- sagot ni inday kung bakit umiiyak ang baby.. ü
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12) "Ideas have an end my friend.. Ideas die, but 'people' revive then again. Only 'people' who have the power 'to change the world' can summon ideas once again..
- inday kachika c ederlyn. =p
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13) The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocation… The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!
- ganito nakipagbreak si inday kay dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)
14) "Sh*t inday! Can you shut up? You've grown to become an all knowing b*tch!!!"
- sabi ng guard na ex at kapitbahay ni inday.
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15) "Bloody hell!!! What the F*** did just land on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this eewy thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
- reacton ni inday ng natalsikan ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia.
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16) How do I stop falling for someone? How do I defy the pull of gravity? Can I just flee? Flee before I hit the ground and suffer the pain?
And tell myself: "Why do I choose to fall in the first place, when I know from the start, that someone's never gonna be there to catch me anyway?..."
- tanong ni inday sa sarili ng mainlove sa amo nia.
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17) "I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should have made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
- si inday nageemote sa may bintana habang iniisip ang bf niang c dodong.
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18) "Because the allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the rxn site and there's a sudden release of chemotaxis and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances results to incomplete circulation to the site, thus promoting redness...."
- si inday, nagplaiwanag ke ma'am bakit nagkarashes c junior.
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19) "Intense heat affected the conductor, which is steel, causing the 'oriza sativa' to change its State of color, odor as well as flavor."
- sagot ni inday ng tanungin ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sinaing.
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20) Bienvenu aux
- c inday ng sinundo ang French na kaibigan ng amo sa airport.. :D
21) " i stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifests, extending to that niche where i was given life and growth that because of austerity i was made separated from..."
- si inday ndi makatulog dahil naho-homesick
22) "Much as I would want to indulge in the proliferation of such incident and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession. We are not here to thrive on rumor but rather, we should engage in objective and top of the line service to our designated employers"
-Inday
(tumangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay. Professionalism at its best!)
23) "Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to ones body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy."
-Sagot ni Inday sa amo nung hindi sya pinayagang mag day off.
24) "I'm still a human being, attracted to anyone my heart beats on, and I have my limitations in controlling my feelings. I have to push myself into not loving him.. This is so wrong..
-Si Inday nailove sa amo. Ibang level na talaga...
25) Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a lil' monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasnt enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabily runned academy. Oh, such an erudile bunch of babboons! I never thought bein a governess can be such strenous employ!
Your daughter Inday.
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Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa Ospital ang nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kakabasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay.
26) Inday is a Harvard graduate who took up human behavior and specialized in corporate communication, verbal and non-verbal. She’s a global speaker during the international maids convention.
-- credentials ni Inday.
27) Sad animal facts:
1. Ants never sleep
2. Pigs can’t raise their heads to look at the sky
3. Butterflies only live for seven days…
See you have three more reasons to be thankful for today… being something always has its ups and downs. Just remember, while you’re complaining about your situation, someone could be wishing he/she was in your place.
-- si Inday, chinika ang mga istambay sa kanto… sosyal talaga.
28) “There’s still a romantic element in knowing that I love someone but I am choosing to do the right thing by staying silent.”
--- Sabi ni Inday sa sarili dahil in-love siya kay sir.
30) Inday joins Ms. Pasil paegeant…
Judge: Inday, here’s your final question: what is the essence of being a nanny?
Inday: Muchas gracias, Pasil! Let me tell you what a nanny is. She is someone who takes care of your loved one more than herself. She is giving love by serving other people rather than her own family. Dedication, compassion and selflessness are the essences of being a nanny. Thank you!
Panel of judges: nosebleed!!!
31) Love not because you like that person, nor because you care. Love not because you know that you can’t live without that person… instead, just love and forget about why…
-- sinabi ni Inday nung tanungin siya ng amo niya kung bakit na-in-love siya kang Dodong.
32) The principle of “dictum de omni” best describes the events that have transpired moments ago. Capital punishment is what I’ve been expecting, but death is said to be un-Christian. Therefore, reclusion perpetua comes close to what is best serve… I don’t hold grudges on him and the absolute proposition is that he must accept h is fate dictated by law…
-- reaction ni Inday sa panonood sa promulgation ng idol niyang si Erap
33) There are tulips in the street, there are tulips in the park, but nothing compares to our two lips meeting in the dark.
-- pamatay lines ni Isko kay Inday.
34) Listening to the nonsense talk about someone’s life is a pathetic way of entertainment. It doesn’t contribute to the good of society. I hate character assassinators!
-- reklamo ni Inday nang nachismis siya ng kapitbahay
35) Amo: Mula ngayon, walang magsasalita ng Ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na ito! Klaro ba?
Inday: Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalik din ang matayog at palalong banyagang wika, manapa’y kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban.
Amo: (nosebleed)
36) I’m not extremely good-looking but I have a sense of humor. I’m not breathtakingly intelligent but I’m relatively witty.
"I’m not insanely rich but I’m fairly kind. I’m just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquiantance. So, hi!"
-- Si DODONG, nakikipag-txtm8 kay INDAY
37) Amo: Inday, bakit mo ibinenta ‘yung sirang silya?
Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using a five-year projection and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS 18 on Revenue, PAS 16 on Property, Plant and Equipment, and PAS 36 on Impairment of Assets.
AMO: (hindi naka-react)
38) P500 = Globe plan subscription
P1,800 = glutathione tablet
P600 = Olay Total Effects
P1,500 = Crocs flip flops
P2,000 = for Mama
-- Bina-budget ni INDAY ang suweldo niya.
39) "We need to give due respect and the presumption of regularity to the verdict laid down against the former president.
"But guilty or not guilty, he will still be loved by people like me, people belonging to the masses."
--Iyan ang sagot ni INDAY sa interbyu ng CNN sa kanya tungkol sa hatol kay ERAP.
40) "Moisturizing my lips is really an essential part of my beauty routine because spending long hours under bright lights dries them out."
--Iyan ang emote ni INDAY sa salamin habang ginagamit ang imported na lipstick ng amo.
41) "Be shame of your speaking. Did you think that your English grammary are corrected by? It’s better to keep your mouth shock! Connect me if I’m wrong!"
-- Babala ni MELANIE MARQUEZ kay INDAY.
posted by kira yamato @ 1:30 AM
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